Cree is an online peer educator with YouthResource.

Christopher is my given name, but the world has come to know me as Cree. Some may say that my life is difficult, because I am 23, black, queer and HIV+. However, I think it makes my life a little bit more interesting.

I was born and raised in a little town in rural Louisiana, where blacks and whites still attend separate churches. Sometimes I feel like I have spent a lot of time trying to prove my blackness, because I am so fair skinned. Although once I start speaking and people get to know me, there is no question of what race and ethnicity I am proud to be.

At 14, I decided to explore the rest of my house, or what most people would call “come out of the closet”. At first I thought I had to fit a mold or be a stereotype. I guess I thought I had to be thin, effeminate and flamboyant and had to give up all the “butch” or masculine things I liked. However that act got old, and I realized that I had to write my own one man show. For example, I could still like sports while enjoying a day at the spa and being a bag lady (I am such a sucker for a new bag).

My biological father stopped doing things for me when I came out. I have tried working on our relationship, but my efforts have not been fruitful. I no longer speak to my father, and I am okay with that. My mother has come a long way in trying to accept me for who I am. She can now call me and be like, “Girl! Guess what happened to me today?” It is kind of funny to me. However, things were not always like that, especially when she was still with my stepfather. I felt like at that time he was the most important person in her life, so it was not surprising when he kicked me out of my house when I was 19 and she said nothing.

How do you tell a 19 year old kid, 8 days before their 20 th birthday, they have HIV? Like this, “Cree your results came back, and they are positive.”

My HIV results were not too surprising to me. I had been raped when I was 16. When I started consensually having sex, I thought I was “invincible”, it would not happen to me. Then after my stepfather kicked me out, and I was homeless, I used my body as a means to survive. Protecting myself was not always my top priority; getting money, a meal, a place to sleep or shower was way more important to me at that time. Realizing I had contracted HIV, made me feel like I had hit rock bottom. When you get that low, the only way for you to go is up, and so that is what I did.

I have become a leader in my community, state and country in HIV prevention and advocacy for people with HIV. Anytime I have the opportunity to give a workshop or a discussion, be part of a campaign, or work on an event dealing with HIV and healthy sexuality, I am there.

I got my start doing this work by volunteering for my local AIDS Service Organization. I became an intern and HIV+ Speaker, in their Youth Education Program, and got certified to be an HIV tester and counselor in the state of Oregon. A couple of years ago I got to work on the campaign, Operation Get Tested, where myself and 5 other HIV+ youth traveled around the country and used our stories to get our peers to get tested for HIV. I am currently volunteering with my local AIDS Service Organization’s youth lead program that addresses the issues of sex and sexuality, gender and gender identity, STIs and HIV. I have also been working with the National Association for People with AIDS, and I will be working with Advocates for Youth’s YouthResource program by being an online peer educator.

I am an activist because the issues of HIV and healthy sexuality have become my passion and purpose in life, ever since the day I found out I am HIV+. I am happy when I am doing this work and cannot imagine myself doing anything else. Well. maybe being a housewife, but that will come later in life.